PaulSpoerry.com

LOL. A comparative analysis of Geek 1.0 versus Geek 2.0.

Cracked.com lines one up and hits it out of the park with it’s latest:

If we could ask God for just one thing, it’d be this: We want superpowers like people in the Bible had.

Is that too much to ask? We could do a lot with our powers, some of it good. So why not? It used to happen quite a bit, the Bible is full of people who God infused with powers that would put most of the Marvel and DC lineup to shame. Such as:
#5. Ezekiel and His Zombie Army
Ezekiel was a prophet. For most Biblical prophets, this meant having freaky visions, telling them to people, being mocked and most likely being executed for heresy. But it was all worth it, when things like this happened:

That’s Ezekiel 37: 1-14, and that’s him raising a freaking army of the undead.

If we could do that …
An army of the undead, right at our fingertips? Imagine the bank-robbers running when suddenly rotting arms reach up from the ground, grab that sack of cash, steal his car and beat him with his own intestines. But crime fighting is just the beginning, we’re thinking there’s really an incredible number of uses for your legions of undead henchman.

Also, it’s not too far-fetched to assume that this would work on animals as well, so zombie horsemen could give us some serious mobility.

The Downside:
This special ability seems to require having a lot of exposed skeletons laying around, a resource we probably won’t find while fighting crime with Spider-Man in New York (unless there are some neighborhoods that are way worse than we initially thought).

Secondly, some people might get a bit uneasy about the whole walking around town followed by an army of terrifying zombies. It’s one of the tenets of being a superhero that your presence doesn’t prompt horrified shrieks from children. So we would have to move somewhere where freakishly impossible and ethically questionable things won’t seem out of place. Maybe the Netherlands.

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Chidi Ogbuta of Allen, Texas, had a wedding cake that looks just like… her. A couple of comments on this as this gal has some seriously ghettotastic issues:

• I can hear her now “does that cake make my butt look fat?”.

• I suppose her husband really can have his cake and eat it to!

• Besides, what’s wrong with eating your wife on your wedding night?

• Probably the only time you could say, “I’ll take a breast piece.” to a wedding cake.

Take a look at this 3rd pic… is her taking his first slice out of her vag…. oh nevermind.

Probably one of the less informative interviews. Still fun to watch him with Colbert, who I watch every night. His humor is priceless.