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You are here: Home / Google+ Posts / Supreme Court Rules In Favor Of Most Buck-Wild Pride Parade Nation’s Ever Seen

Supreme Court Rules In Favor Of Most Buck-Wild Pride Parade Nation’s Ever Seen

June 26, 2015 by Paul Spoerry Leave a Comment



Supreme Court Rules In Favor Of Most Buck-Wild Pride Parade Nation’s Ever Seen
The Onion – America’s Finest News Source

Following decades of debate over the constitutional right to same-sex marriage, the U.S. Supreme Court today handed down a 5-4 ruling in favor of the most buck-wild, balls-to-the-wall gay pride parade this country has ever seen. “After reviewing the constitutional underpinnings of this case, the court finds that it is discriminatory for states to deny the right to the most out-of-control, bonkers gay pride parade that anyone could possibly imagine,” Justice Anthony M. Kennedy wrote in his majority opinion, which outlined at length the elaborate floats, billowing rainbow flags, and phalanxes of outlandishly dressed participants, barely scratching the surface of how completely bananas things are about to get. “This decision confirms what should be obvious: The government cannot prevent a nonstop bacchanal surging through the streets of every American city. We’re talking half-naked lesbians covered in body paint, rollerblading homosexuals in brightly colored Native American headdresses and sparkling gold briefs, as well as hundreds of thousands of supporters losing their fucking minds while ‘I Will Survive’ blares at 150 decibels. This is going to be an absolute shit show.” The Supreme Court’s landmark decision was reportedly appended by a concurring opinion authored by Associate Justice Sonia Sotomayor in which she agreed that the right to “an uninterrupted three-day batshit insane rager” was mandated by the U.S. Constitution.

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Filed Under: Google+ Posts Tagged With: HappyFriday, LoveWins, MarriageEquality

About Paul Spoerry

I’m a groovy cat who’s into technology, Eastern Thought, and house music. I’m a proud and dedicated father to the coolest little guy on the planet (seriously, I'm NOT biased). I’m fascinated by ninjas, the Internet, and anybody who can balance objects on their nose for long periods of time.

I have a utility belt full of programming languages and a database of all my knowledge on databases... I practice code fu. Oh, I've also done actual Kung Fu, and have a black belt in Tae Kwon Do.

I run. I meditate. I dance. I blog at PaulSpoerry.com, tweet @PaulSpoerry, and I'm here on Google+.

I'm currently work for IBM developing web enabled insurance applications for IBM and support and develop a non-profit called The LittleBigFund.

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