If you see a girl in a seashell bra and hold one of the seashells up to your ear, you can hear her scream.
My therapist thinks I have a God complex. How dare he say that unto me
In grade school it's called bullying but when you get older it's referred to as upper level management
It’s nice that my vacuum has a headlight
…just in case I want to clean in the dark or wake my dog up thinking he’s getting hit by a train.